All the Same
by ArlieseBirchwood
Summary: Thief King Bakura wasn't always the king...in fact, right now in Ancient Egypt he is the exasperated subordinate of Malik Ishtar, a sexist pig. This may be included in Afekia's Memory World later, but I need to know what you think first. ;


"I am so glad we chose this as our resting spot!" Malik said gleefully, his eyes devouring the body of a svelte belly dancer. Afekia snorted at Malik's antics.

"Excuse me, Malik, but I thought this was where we were _supposed _to get some water?" Afekia asked politely in a mock-inquiring tone.

"Ah, shut your face-hole," he replied, his eyes still on the dancer.

Afekia scowled. "Why is she even dancing out here, anyway?"

"Festival contest," Malik replied promptly. "Every year, there is this national dancing contest. The finalists perform on the Festival of Bes. Since that's the common people's, including the pyramid workers', day off…"

"I know that," Afekia snarled.

Malik looked offended. "Well, ex-kee-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me, princess! As I was saying…ahem…now everybody could enjoy molesting the dancers' bodies by eyesight. It also lets this contest pan out appropriately, because the audience vote decides the lucky winner…who gets to perform a solo dance for the pharaoh on a more exclusive and snooty festival."

The white-haired boy gaped at Malik. "And you know all this…by _how_?" Afekia suddenly smirked. "Unless you have participated in these _competitions_ before?"

Malik snorted. "And capture of the eye of the pharaoh, so I can become one of his 'entertainers' in his harem? I don't think so!"

Afekia raised his eyebrow. "I didn't know the pharaoh preferred men."

Malik laughed. "He probably doesn't, but no one can resist the hotness that is Malik Ishtar."

The other boy could only roll his eyes. "So, how _did _you know?"

"I can _read_," Malik replied, pointing at a notice about the dance competition on the brick wall the other was leaning against.

"Ah," Afekia said.

"Ah, indeed." Malik said, his eyes _still_ riveted on the dancer. "Ra, that girl is hot."

"Why do you keep your hair so long anyway?" Afekia asked, completely disinterested.

Malik finally spared Afekia a semi-interested glance. "That was weirdly random."

"No, it wasn't. Your hair is longer than that dancer's, and as you're drooling all over her…"

"Oh, please…your hair is the closest thing I've came to something that looked like drool."

Afekia was confused for a few moments. _Malik drooled over me? So does that mean he's gay?!..._Afekia continued his bemused wondering before he finally realized what Malik was implying. "Hey!!!!!" He squawked indignantly.

Malik grinned at him. He sat down on the stone ground, crossed his legs, and resumed staring at the brown-haired dancer.

"I really don't see what's the big deal about her," Afekia said pointedly.

Malik looked shocked. "You don't _see what's the big deal about her?" _He gasped dramatically.

"Well…yeah. Her haircut looks even worse than ours...it's first sticking up like a widow's peak, but then there are some straggly bangs in her face…"

"And this is coming from the guy who hacked his hair with my butcher's knife for a haircut?"

"That was a _butcher's _knife?"

"Yah, now shut up. I can tell you a million reasons why that dancer deserves attention even from a snooty thief like you. Her body is incredible, and her eyes are really blue…oh goody, the next dancer is coming up! And she is guh-uhhhhhhhhhd!"

Afekia rolled his eyes again, even though Malik couldn't see him, as he was currently ogling at the new dancer. Afekia looked at the new dancer disparagingly. _Well, at least she's better than that other hooker_. Malik apparently seemed to agree, as he continued:

"And her hair is bronze, _and _her eyelashes are _really _long which brings out her eyes just as much as her necklace does…wow, her eyes are captivating…"

"Did you even notice we're talking about two completely different women, now?" Afekia asked dryly. "They don't even have the same eyes; the other one had eyes like water. This one has eyes like…dung."

Malik looked pained. "Shoot. Now I can't look at her anymore without thinking of last night's theft raid that ended in _cow_ manure…thanks a lot, Afekia!"

Afekia snorted. "Now, let's go get that water, Malik. Odion is probably wondering if Ammit already claimed our heartless souls already…" He suddenly stopped when the drummers started beating a catchy rhythm. _BUH duh duh duh duh duh, BUH duh duh duh duh, duh DUH __**DUH DUH**__…_

"You do realize you're saying that out loud, right?"

Afekia jumped. "What?" He asked, embarrassed.

Malik smirked, but just turned his attention to the new dancer. "And I don't care if they're two different women. They all look the same to me…those two even have the same hair."

"That last one had dark brown hair, and this one has bronzy brown hair."

"Whatever." Malik shrugged. "They're all the same."

"So all that defines a woman to you is that they can all give you pleasure?" Afekia asked.

"No…I _bestow _upon them my hotness and they accept by trying to keep up in their weak, feminine ways," Malik said loftily.

"You are the most arrogant blowhard I ever met."

"My pleasure…now can I please mind-rape these dancers in peace?"

"My pleasure."

"Thanks."


End file.
